"she's been hurt many times before this. you'd think it would be routine by now. you'd think she wouldn't let it get to her but the truth is you're the only one who can break her now." - Jacqueline Kelly
"She confirmed it today. We're not friends. I'm not worth her time and energy. I'm not worth it to her. One more person I'm not worth it too." - jacqueline kelly
"It's getting to the point where I don't even care anymore. Again." - jacqueline kelly
"Don't even remember the last time we talked. Might as well have been ages ago. Tell me again what's the sound of your voice?" - Jacqueline Kelly
"And when he called the memories returned and I wanted to hear you say it will be all right but you weren't there to comfort me. You never are anymore." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I stopped believing in fairy tales and happily ever after when I looked into your eyes and saw nothing there." - Jacqueline Kelly
"All she wanted was the love no one gave her." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I don't think I can handle this anymore. It's gotten to hard for even me. And there's no one there for me. No one there to help me though this. No one even sees. They can't even tell that I'm dying here. They don't even care. And I need someone now. I never needed anyone, but now I need someone. Yet, I'm alone. I'm more alone then I ever been. Because, there's more people now. More people who supposedly love me but don't. More people who say they care but they never show they do. They can't lie like I can. They can't pretend. I fake relationships. I fake smiles and laughter and joy. They can't though. They can't do what I can do. They're weak ... weaker then me. But, God, how I wish I had just one person. I would give anything to have someone love me. Someone who will hold me and let me cry. I don't have that. I never really had. It's getting so hard to keep going. I wonder if there's anyone who really does care. If there's anyone who I can talk to when I need to. But, it's just impossible. No ones there for me. And now, after all these years of being alone ... I don't even really want them there." - Jacqueline Kelly
"Everyone says if they could go back in time and relive they wouldn't make the same mistakes. They would change their decisions and rethink and relive and nothing they did would be the same. I wouldn't. I would relive my life the same way I'm living it now. Nothing would change. My mistakes helped shape me. My decisions defined me. I am who I am because of the life I lived. And if I had a chance, I wouldn't change a thing." - Jacqueline Kelly
"The thing about crowds is that I'm all alone in them." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I don't tell people I don't know and trust about my past. I wait until after feel as if they love me, truly love me. Except him, I never told him. The thing is, I didn't want him to stop. I didn't want him to think of me as dirty ... and stop loving me ... so he never knew. He'll never know." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I don't know when it happened, or even how it happened. But it did. I grew up. And with growing up I grew apart. I'm not one of you anymore. I'm my own person. And I'm alone. You live in this happy world together, and I'm on the outside looking in. My seasons are completely different from yours. When the sun shines on you the rain pours on me. Your laughter is my sorrow. I don't feel things the way you do. I don't respond to things the way you do. I'm sorry. I can't help it. This is who I am." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I look at the world as just another place I must stay in until I can go home." -Jacqueline Kelly
"I don't want to get too attached and then be hurt later." - Jacqueline Kelly
"And still she remains strong and brave. She never lets on to her heartache or pain. Still she smiles and holds it all inside. Smiles and laughter to the public eye. Sometimes, even to me." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I guess the reason I'm giving up is because I have nothing to hold on to." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I want to change my name and go off to a place where no one will see." - Jacqueline Kelly
"The strongest people in the world are the ones who think they're weak." - Jacqueline kelly
"You're not a part of me anymore." - Jacqueline kelly
"See, that's the thing about second chances. It's two people that are there for each other and support each other and care about each other no matter how much they want to deny it. It's about one person doing everything they can to make sure the other doesn't fall and vice-versa. Second chances are about holding on to that other persons hand no matter how hard they beg to let go." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I don't want to have one of those relationship where it's too late to say good-bye." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I fade in and out of reality. " - Jacqueline kelly
"Sits stiff as a board as she escapes into her own world admist the cloudlike fantasies and far away dreams. In the background the sinister music plays. Words of evil and hatred ringing in her ears. The beat of uncaring and loneliness accompanying the lyrics that torture her soul. "
"And I am so blessed in that God gave me these angels to stand beside me and catch me when I fall" - Jacqueline Kelly
"It's my fault really. See, my mistake was that I gave you a broken heart. And I expected you to put the pieces together. And you did. And I was grateful. But, in having you put my heart together, I gave you the power to break it. In making my heart whole, you knew how to hurt me. You knew where it was weak, where the cracks were. You knew where to push to make my heart crumble. So, it's my fault you broke my heart." - Jacqueline Kelly
"It's a bad thing when you start placing him in memories he doesn't belong in. Memories where he didn't exist in. Memories that originally had nothing to do with him. It's a bad thing when every memory is of him. Memories where once he was clear of. Memories of before you met him. Memories of times away with him. A bad, bad thing when you're trying to get over him." - Jacqueline Kelly
"Things aren't great. The nightmares of my past are returning to haunt me in my sleep. When I'm awake, a certain sound, a word, brings back the memories and I freeze. I can't breathe. My soul is so torn. I wonder if it will ever be healed completely. My heart is ripped into shreds. It doesn't seem as if there's anyway to mend it. I'm dying. I'm dying and no one can tell. They don't even care. It's torture, going through the motions of life as if I'm really here. I don't remember the last time I really felt anything. The last time I cried or laughed and meant it. And I wonder why no one can tell. They all say the love me but then why aren't they able." - Jacqueline kelly
"When you attempt sucide ... and you fail ... it's like this big dissapointment ... because it's one more thing you can't do right." - Jacqueline Kelly
"What you see is only half of what I am. I have a hundred different faces, a million different personalities. Only a part of me is what I show you. I display a fraction of my true self. Everything is just a facade. It's not the truth of me. You dont know me You never will." - Jacqueline Kelly
"this is me not giving a damn anymore." - jacqueline kelly
"I'm through with it. All of it. I simply do not care anymore. I don't want to care anymore. I'm walking away now and you can say or do what you want. It's not going to stop me. I'm done with caring." - Jacqueline Kelly
"There are these two sides of me constantly at war. One side wants to be happy and loving while the other wants to curl up and die. And they push each other and shove each other earing me apart inside and the sad part is no one will ever win." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I didn't want anyone getting close to me. I pushed people away. Built a wall around my heart to keep them out. I let one person take down the bricks, and I suppose it was a good idea, but, sometimes, he hurts me too. And it hurts so much worse then any other hurt I've felt because he is one of the very few that matter anymore." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I will be fine. I'm always fine. This is my perfect little life. I smile. I laugh. Nothing ever goes wrong. Nothing." - Jacqueline Kelly
"There isn't really anything that keeps me here except the memories. And they aren't even enough anymore." - Jacqueline Kelly
"Have ... have any of you ... lost that one friend ... that person who you thought will ALWAYS be there. Who said they would always be there, but, then, they got tired of you, or fed up with you, or just stopped caring about you, and they just left? After promising you they would never leave they break that promise? You have other friends, people who are your best friends, but that person just meant something to you, something really special, and while those other best friends of yours are people who you would die for in a minute, and they are still there and you know they always will be, you just feel .. empty because they take that specialness away because they just don't care anymore. They accuse their leaving of being your fault. They say it's beacuse you stopped caring. Because you pushed them away farther then they could take. Because you just weren't good enough. Because you just didn't try hard enough. They say that if you cares, that if you didn't push them away, that if you were good enough, that if you tried harder, then they would still be there. But, what I don't understand is why they can't understand that the only reason I push someone away was because I loved them so much, and that they meant so much to me, and that I got scared. I was frightened that they would take that love away. And I was right. They did. Why can't they understand?" - Jacqueline kelly
"And I'm still looking for the place where I belong. I just wish I knew where to go when I have no where to be." - Jacqueline kelly
"It's like, all of a sudden I grew up, and I changed. I'm not the person you used to know. -jacqueline kelly
"So, here's my question. What makes me so damn wonderful? I'm nothing. Honestly. I'm just another girl, doing what she can to make believe happiness. And, it's not working. But, somehow I managed to convince everyone around me that I am. And they say they love me. But, how can they? What they see isn't me. It's what I pretend to be, because its what I'm told to be. But, I'm not happy. I'm not nice. I'm mean. I'm evil. I say things and do things that hurt myself and hurt people. Deliberately. Because, I can. And because it's supposed to make them all leave me alone so I don't have to pretend anymore, but they don't leave. No, instead they continue to believe I'm happy, perky. When I smile they believe me. When I laugh they think it's real. And they think they love me. But, they don't know me. They know who I pretend to be. But, how do you love something that's not real?" - Jacqueline kelly
"I honestly don't understand what makes people think they love me, what makes people think I'm a good person. Because I'm not." - Jacqueline kelly
"I don't understand how anyone can think that I'm worthy of ... Anything." - Jacqueline kelly
"I'm slowly dying inside. Again." - Jacqueline Kelly
"You know, I say I'm okay. My mouth moves and joyful little meaningless words fall from it. Everything's okay. But inside I'm screaming out for help. Screaming for someone to save me. My shouts are deafening, yet, no one seems to hear them." - Jacqueline Kelly
"My life is more like a movie. I see the people moving. Hear what they're saying. But it's not real. Nothing is real anymore." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I don't know what's wrong. Don't know why I feel the way I do. I just know its killing me." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I'm so tired of this. It's too much for me to handle right now. I'm sick of getting hurt and having my heart broken. I want to just give up." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I see the tears and her heart break. I watch her as the news sinks in. She's been hurt past remission. Pained past healing. And he's gone. Not the man he once was. Never to be again. And she loves him still. So slowly she smiles and wipes away the tears that fall say's it's all okay. He's gone now, so far away. Will she ever hold him again? Will he ever be hers once more? It doesn't matter. She loves him still." - jacqueline kelly
"All she wanted was the love no one gave her." - Jacqueline Kelly
"There's happiness out there. Somewhere. I know there is. I'm just too sad to look." - jacqueline kelly
"I wish I was like you. Happy. Perky. Chirpy. Smiling and laughing all the time. I wish things didn't matter to me. I wish I was unfeeling towards others. I wish I was selfish. Just like you. You're he perfect role-model. The kind of person people look up to. Yeah. I wish I was that way. Heartless. Rude. Inconsiderate. Phony. Yeah. That's you. Oh, if I could be that way." - jacqueline kelly
"I wish you wouldn't tell such lies. I'll start believing them someday." - Jacqueline Kelly
"You did it again. You broke my heart again. You promised you wouldn't do that. Promised you'd always be here for me. Promised you'd never hurt me. And I trusted you. Again. I was really stupid wasn't I?" - Jacqueline Kelly
"He really does make everything okay." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I love every little thing about him. The good and the bad. They all make up him ... and he's all I want." - Jacqueline Kelly
"Falling asleep in your arms and waking to your smile was a dream come true. I want that... forever." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I think I stopped loving you when the tears started to fall and you turned away." - Jacqueline Kelly
"I waited up for hours for you to call. When you didn't I figured I had a better chance of seeing you in my dreams." - Jacqueline Kelly
