Humor Quotes ... Page 12
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
"Lois: Jimmy, you stepped on my hand. Jimmy: Next time, don't leave your hand on the floor under a desk in an office you're not supposed to be in. Lois: I'm sorry--did I just get a lecture from Jimmy Olsen? " - Smallville
"Chloe: Do me a favor, okay? Just keep a low profile. Oliver: I'm wearing green leather, so I'll do my best. " - Smallville
"I didn't know Uncle Sam was into drugs and bondage. Kind of gives a whole new meaning to the 'I Want You' poster, doesn't it? " - Smallville
"Lois: Do you even care if I get this job? Clark: Of course I care. I bought a new tie. Lois: Oh, well I bought a whole new outfit. Clark: Yeah, you look great. Lois: Don't do that. Clark: Do what? Lois: Don't you dare reassure me right now. " - Smallville
"You stick your foot any further in your mouth, and you might end up losing a shoe. " - Smallville
"Hey, why the long face? This party's got your three favorite things: beer, girls, and severe weather warnings!" - Greek
"Jamie: Nice to meet you, grandma Rachel. Rachel: I remember when you were a rumor in third period." - One Tree Hill
"Aidan Hall: C'mon man, just one drink. Tyler: When was the last time you had just one drink? Aidan Hall: ...communion." - Remember Me
"Casey: You and I, we've always stayed in our respected worlds. I never crashed one of your gay camp sleepovers. Rusty: Wilderness Excursions! Casey: Whatever!" - Greek
"Deanne McKenzie: How about I take you out for a date night every Thursday? Kurt McKenzie: Well, Thursday night is Grey's Anatomy, but any other night would be great." - Grown Ups
"Do you know how many lives have been lost to the guy code? That thing needs to be overturned before it's too late!" - Greek
"I hate her. In fact, the day you broke up with her I marked that down on my calendar as a day of rejoicement. I'm going to celebrate it with a cake with her face on it, but instead of eating it, we smash it." - She's Out of My League
"If we are going to pay this much for crab it better sing and dance and introduce us to the Little Mermaid!" - Date Night
"Jack: You're a moodle. Kirk: A moodle? Jack: A man poodle. Girls, they wanna take you out on a walk. They wanna feed you, they wanna cuddle you, but make no mistake, no girl wants to do the moodle." - She's Out of My League
"Look, in your virgin mind, women are like these mythical creatures... Like unicorns! With breasts! But let me tell you something: that's a myth. Women are just normal people with breasts." - Greek
"Never drink to feel better; drink to feel even better." - How Do You Know
"Rusty, I can't go to jail! I have serious food allergies!" - Greek
"Samantha Jones: Everyone knows you don't hire a hot nanny, it's the law! Carrie Bradshaw: Yeah, Jude Law." - Sex and the City 2
"Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the Lord today." - Greek
"Susan: I need a man in my life! Lee: Why? We're so useless." - Desperate Housewives
"Telling a woman you like her clothes isn't lying. It's self-preservation." - Gossip Girl
"Tom: Remember last time you were pregnant with twins? Every part of you swelled up. It was like sleeping next to a body they dragged out of the river. Lynette: You said I was beautiful. Tom: I had to. You were twice my size." - Desperate Housewives
"Well. The entire world is falling to ruins and poor Cheshire's off his tea." - Alice in Wonderland
"You have a choice. You can step aside. Or you can fight me. If that is how you want to go, I warn you, I will go dark side. Okay? I will rip out your hair. I will bite your chin off. And I will stab you in the eyes with confiscated scissors. Because I'm an insane mother fucker." - She's Out of My League
"look at me. I'm tipsy. I'm horny. I'm easier than a five-year-old's homework." - Desperate Housewives
"You know what they say in a bad economy, the mature cocktail waitress is the first to go." - Desperate Housewives
"Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family." - Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler
"Love and law are the same, romantic in concept but the actual practice can give you a yeast infection." - Ally McBeal
"Well, that's what's so great about it, technically it's a business dinner. It has all the potential upsides of a date while still being tax deductible." - Desperate Housewives
"It's when he got strict with me I knew I liked him. I hope this doesn't mean deep down I want to be spanked." - Ally McBeal
"Elizabeth Swann: There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by." - Pirates of the Caribbean
"He's a guy. Nothing they do ever makes sense." -Felicity
"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allan Poe
"No matter how old you are, no matter how badass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone... you answer it."
